Five Oh
The Mothership believed in throwing you in the deep end and seeing if you'd sink or swim. It was Tuesday Night Swimming Club, I was eight years old, and it was the 25 metres freestyle race. By that age, most Australians could swim a lap of the whole island if called upon, but I was always a slow learner. I stood at the pool edge, shivering with dread as we waited for the starter's pistol.
I looked over to Mum. She was leaning against the pool fence with what she'd say was an encouraging smile, but I thought it embodied pure sadism.
I hate you, I fumed silently. I can't believe you're making me do this. I will drown right here in all that kiddie pee, and then you'll be sorry!
The gun fired, and the fright tumbled me into the water. I thrashed and spluttered for all of ten metres before some bloke had to jump in and fish me out.
See Mum, I tried to communicate via furious eyebrows, Told you I sucked.
But she just grinned and yelled out, "Well done!".
My main complaint growing up was that Mum always made me do things I didn't want to do. Drama classes, netball, Brownies, the dishes, looking up words in the dictionary rather than her just telling me how to spell something. I wasn't lazy so much as lacking confidence. It was like she existed purely to dream up more ways to make me suffer.
Only when I was old enough to figure myself out for myself did I realise she had me pinned from the start. That sometimes I needed to be pushed, and that life wouldn't have turned out as interesting if she hadn't.
It's incredible to think that when I was that grumpy brat at the swimming pool, Mum was the same age as I am now. The Mothership steered us through so many very tough life moments, some of which I thought we’d never recover. But when the moment's pain faded, what lingers most is how we never had to doubt her love. Other things filled me with fear or uncertainty, but never her.
The older I get, the more I appreciate that. And the more I appreciate being thrown in the deep end.
Happy 50th Birthday, Mothership! You rule the school.
(If you're new around here and haven't seen the blog fodder she's provided over the years, here are the Mothership archives. And if you've been reading about her for a while, why not leave a wee birthday message? She's always watching!)
